I Turned 51: What I’ve Learned About Taking Care of Your Body
After working with clients and students for more than 20 years, I have learned something pretty simple. I cannot show up and do all the things I want to do when I feel like crap. Neither can you.
You can have a vision for your life, a business you want to build, a book you want to write, people you want to help, a family you love, money you want to make, places you want to travel, and a purpose you are finally ready to live. You can survive some serious shit and reach the point where you are ready to create a life beyond what happened to you. But every single thing you want to experience, create, lead, teach, love, or change requires something we often forget while chasing everything else.
Your body has to come with you.
I turned 51 this week, and I have been thinking about this a lot. After more than five decades in this body, I know my relationship with her has affected almost everything else I have done. I have fought her, judged her, pushed her, ignored her, been scared of her, and tried to control her. I have also learned to listen to her, feed her, move her, rest her, get her help, appreciate her, and become curious when she changes.
I think curiosity might be one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves as we get older.
Instead of immediately asking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” we learn to ask, “What is happening with me?”
Those are two completely different conversations.
My Body Got My Attention Early
When I was 21, I was dealing with cervical cancer. I was also a young woman carrying experiences from my past that I did not yet understand in the ways I understand them today. I did not have all the language I have now for trauma, nervous system responses, emotions, somatic work, identity, or the relationship we develop with our bodies after difficult experiences.
One of the books I found during that time changed my life. I am careful about how I say this because telling you my experience and making a medical claim are two different things. I am not telling you a book cured my cancer. I am telling you the ideas in this book changed the way I participated in my healing and the way I thought about my body, emotions, beliefs, experiences, and life.
READ THE BOOK THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Looking back, I think 21-year-old me was beginning to understand something 51-year-old me knows much more deeply. My body deserves my participation.
Going to the doctor matters. Getting appropriate medical care matters. What I eat matters. Sleep matters. Movement matters. Stress matters. How I speak to myself matters. The environments and relationships I stay in matter. Paying attention when my body changes matters.
Your body is giving you information all day long. The problem is that many of us learned to judge the information before we learned how to listen to it.
Then Your Body Changes Again
Menopause has given me another education in getting to know myself.
My body does not respond exactly the way she did at 30 or 40. I have experienced weight changes, joint changes, hormonal changes, hot flashes, and moments when I have looked at myself and wondered what the hell my body was doing.
Some of those changes have real biology behind them. Menopause involves changing hormone levels and often comes with changes in temperature regulation, sleep, body composition, sexual health, mood, muscles, joints, and other parts of physical life. If you are going through it too, the National Institute on Aging has a good overview of what happens during menopause and the symptoms women experience.
READ ABOUT MENOPAUSE FROM THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE ON AGING
Learning more about what was happening helped me stop turning every change into evidence that I was doing something wrong.
That has become one of my rules at 51: learn before you shame yourself.
Then experiment.
Pay attention.
Keep what helps.
Ask for professional help when you need it.
And stop expecting the body you have today to operate exactly like the body you had twenty years ago.
A Few Things I Personally Love
I am always interested in things that help me feel better in my body, especially when I will use them consistently. I would rather have a simple practice I do every day than twelve wellness products collecting dust because somebody on the internet convinced me I needed them.
One of my daily practices is my vibration plate. I get on the damn thing every day. I like using it, I like how my body feels, and because people ask me what I use, I am sharing the exact one.
THIS IS THE VIBRATION PLATE I USE EVERY DAY
I also found something during my menopause experience that I was using when my hot flashes ended. Again, I am telling you what happened with my body. I am not promising what will happen with yours. My hot flashes stopped, and this is one of the things I was using when they did.
Please do not blindly copy my routine because it worked for me. Learn from people. Research. Talk with qualified healthcare professionals about your health history and symptoms. Then become a student of your own body.
That last part matters.
Your body is not a generic female body from a textbook or a social media post. Your body has your history, your age, your hormones, your genetics, your habits, your stress, your relationships, your injuries, your experiences, your pleasures, and your life.
Learn her.
Maybe Your Body Is Not the Problem
This is where my work with survivors has changed the way I think about wellness.
I have worked with women who spent years trying to fix their bodies when what they needed first was a different relationship with themselves. Some avoided mirrors. Some hated photographs. Some did not want to be seen naked. Some postponed dating, traveling, speaking, swimming, sex, buying clothes, or fully participating in life until their bodies changed.
When you have lived through trauma, abuse, illness, criticism, betrayal, or years of being disconnected from yourself, your body can become another place where you fight.
Then we pile wellness on top of the fight.
Lose the weight. Fix the hormones. Eat perfectly. Exercise harder. Look younger. Sleep eight hours. Drink the water. Take the supplements. Manage your stress. Heal your trauma.
It becomes another damn job.
What if you started with curiosity instead?
What does your body need today? What feels different? Where are you tired? What feels strong? What hurts? What makes you feel good? What are you avoiding? When was the last time you did something for your body because you cared about her instead of because you wanted to change her?
This is why Body is one of the Power Zones we work with at Your Own University. Your body is connected to your Mind, Emotions, Vibe, Relationships, and Purpose. Sometimes the thing screaming the loudest is not necessarily where the story began.
If you are unsure which part of you is asking for attention right now, start with the Identity Shift Blueprint. It will help you look at where you are instead of immediately deciding what you need to fix.
TAKE YOUR IDENTITY SHIFT BLUEPRINT
I Have Too Much I Still Want to Do
At 51, I am less interested in trying to make my body look exactly like she did during another decade.
I want energy and strength. I want mobility. I want pleasure. I want good sleep. I want to travel. I want to teach. I want to build things. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts. I want to keep doing work I care about and have enough energy left at the end of the day to enjoy the life I worked so hard to create.
My body has already carried me through cervical cancer, motherhood, trauma, recovery, yoga, relationships, heartbreak, education, building businesses, teaching, moving across the country, menopause, and now turning 51. Of course she has changed. So have I.
I do not want to spend the next chapter pissed off at her because she refuses to stay frozen in time.
I want to know her now.
And I want that for you too.
Before you decide what you need to fix next, ask your body how she is doing. Then stick around long enough to hear the answer.
For My Survivor-Turned-Coaches, Writers, and Current or Future Boss Ladies
One more thing, because I know who studies at Your Own University. Some of you are taking what you survived and turning it into something meaningful. You are coaching, writing, teaching, starting businesses, creating programs, or realizing that you have something valuable to say.
Notice how I shared the resources in this article. I told you what I personally use and what happened in my experience. I did not promise you the same result. Your story has value, but when you turn your story into teaching, your words carry responsibility.
And yes, some of the product links in this article are affiliate links. I believe in getting paid when you introduce people to things you genuinely use and love. Always be an affiliate, boss lady. We all win then. Your Own University has an affiliate program too, so if you love our work and want to join the team, let us know.
Your experience has value. Your recommendations have value. Your message has value.
Learn how to share all three responsibly.
Affiliate Disclosure
Some product links in this article are Amazon affiliate links. Your Own University may earn a commission from qualifying purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. Dr. Lisha shares these resources based on her personal experience. Personal experiences described in this article are not guarantees of individual health outcomes. I highly recommend you create affiliate partners for your business and life too - you can even join our team here at Y.O.U.
